


wildest dreams

by uneighteen



Category: Heneral Luna (2015)
Genre: Also character death, Angst, F/M, Very angst, yun lang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 10:46:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5624254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uneighteen/pseuds/uneighteen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She only sees him in her dreams now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	wildest dreams

**i.** _I can see the end as it begins, my one condition is_   
_ Say you'll remember me _   
_ Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe _   
_ Red lips and rosy cheeks _   
_ Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams _

 

“Sa tingin mo, matatapos ang giyera?” Isabel asks, hair messy but still all sorts of beautiful as the light of the sunset reflects on her warm brown skin. She rests against Antonio, whose arms are wrapped around her shoulders from behind, keeping her close as they lie on the sand by the beach. It’s one of those miraculous days when they aren’t at war, when Antonio could come home to her without the worries of a bullet shooting him through the heart.

Antonio presses a moustached kiss to the top of her head. Isabel notices the long pause and the deep sigh before the man answers, she doesn’t react. “Hindi ko alam, Isabel. Pero lalaban ako hanggang lumaya ang Pilipinas. Hanggang matamo natin ang kasarinlan.”

Isabel stares at the sunset as a lump forms in her throat, she cuddles closer to Antonio, leaning her head against his chest. “Kung… kung wala tayo sa giyera, sa… sa tingin mo… ano ang buhay natin ngayon?” She asks and bites her lower lip when she finishes talking… she shouldn’t have asked… she shouldn’t have asked about—

“Kung wala tayo sa giyera?” Antonio laughs a hearty laugh, voice booming and Isabel feels his chest vibrate behind her.

“H’wag mo akong patawanan!” She retorts, looking up at Antonio with a frown. She shouldn’t have asked and now she just feels embarrassed. Antonio would say: “Pero nasa giyera tayo at ‘di na natin dapat isipin ang ibang pagkakataon.”

But Antonio doesn’t say that.

“Kung wala tayo sa giyera at kung malaya ang Pilipinas, pakakasalan kita sa kahit anong simbahan, magtatayo tayo ng bahay sa may Binondo kung saan ako lumaki, hindi na natin kailangang itago kung ano tayo… mapaninindigan na natin ito.”

Isabel’s eyes water. “Pero nasa giyera tayo.”

Antonio lifts her chin, “ayun na nga, pero hindi ibig sabihin na hindi ako lalaban hanggang sa matapos ito”, he presses a kiss to her lips, “hanggang sa mapakasalan kita.”

“Bumalik ka sa akin ng buhay, ha?”

“Ako pa.”

“Sira ulo.”

 

**ii.** _I said "No one has to know what we do,"_   
_ His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room _   
_ And his voice is a familiar sound, nothing lasts forever _   
_ But this is getting good now _

 

What she said was this. “Wala na tayong panahon para sa mga bagay na hindi natin kayang panindigan.”

She thought they could last forever. She thought that they could stay together until the war ends but Isabel is a smart woman. She knows what she wants and she knows what’s right. The commandant general of the Philippines couldn’t afford to get distracted now that the Philippines is at the peak of war. She couldn’t possibly jeopardize the independence of the country just because of love.

She isn’t foolish. She knows what she said.

She knows that she hurt him.

But this is for the better.

This is for the good.

Isn’t it?

 

 **iii.** _Say you'll remember me_  
 _Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe_  
 _Red lips and rosy cheeks_  
 _Say you'll see me again even if it's just pretend_

 

She wonders what went through his head when they met earlier that night.

“Sige, mauuna na ako.” She says to the other members of the Cruz Roja as she disappears into her room. She’s tired, tired of Tomas and Antonio fighting like little children and putting the country’s betterment at stake.

She’s mad. She’s mad at Tomas for being so full of pride. And also, she’s mad at Antonio for letting his emotions get better of him. The news has reached her, Bagbag has been taken by the American army because of Antonio’s slip and she’s mad.

She’s mad because she sacrificed the love of her life but he didn’t seem to care. She’s mad because he didn’t seem to understand that she broke up with him so he can focus on the war at hand but instead, here he goes bringing every capable soldier with him to Guagua just to arrest one general.

She almost wants to cry.

It’s almost as if he doesn’t remember her and what she had to do for him.

Isabel sits at the edge of her bed, untangling her bun and running her fingers through her hair.

Isabel sighs and thinks that in the next time they meet, she’s slapping Antonio and she’s telling him that she loves him no matter what.

Isabel doesn’t even know if there’s a next time for their meeting.

 

**iv.** _Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams_

 

They never meet after that.

It’s an early morning at the Cruz Roja headquarters. There are no new patients and the soldiers that have been wounded in earlier battles are healing well. Isabel’s doing rounds on them now, asking them about their condition and how their battle wounds feel.

It almost feels peaceful until a clamour happens by the entrance of their headquarters, where members of Cruz Roja are suddenly huddled around one soldier who has a telegram in a hand as he hops of his horse.

“Anong nangyayari?” Isabel asks, curious but not panicking as she combs through the crowd and faces the soldier herself. She stands erect and poised, ready to face any sort of news the soldier could bring. This does happen only when there has been a huge attack to the Philippine troops and the soldiers need to find solace in the Cruz Roja headquarters immediately.

The soldier hands the telegram to Isabel with trembling hands. She vaguely remembers him from the trips of Cruz Roja to Antonio’s camp in Bagbag.

Her heart falls to her stomach when the paper reaches her hands. She inhales and swallows thickly as she opens the letter to her.

Her world shatters to the ground and her heart breaks into a million pieces in her chest. Her knees feel like jelly and suddenly, the tears from her eyes are staining the paper in her hands.

One member of the Cruz Roja holds her, and asks what the letter reads.

She forces out her voice and chokes back a cry. “Si… Si Heneral Luna… wala na si Heneral.”

Being Isabel, she wipes her tears as quickly as they came and straightens up. “Sige na, humayo ka na. Hindi ako makakarating sa kanyang libing. Masyadong maraming gawain dito sa Cruz Roja.”

 

*

 

She doesn’t come to his funeral. But she mourns.

She mourns for days. She mourns in churches Antonio once promised her they’d marry. She mourns until the memories of him become dreams and until she can’t differentiate from what’s made up to what’s real.

She mourns until she moves on. She mourns until she can get back up on her feet again.

She mourns but she fights.


End file.
